A Spiritual Chess Match at 37,00 Feet

His name was Igor, a Russian software developer from Atlanta, bound for St. Petersburg, Russia. The DC-10 was seating perhaps 100 passengers with vast stretches of empty seats, yet there we were squeezed side by side next to the window. At first I wanted to move across the isle, to stretch my cramped legs and enjoy some reading. I’m glad I didn’t. We started talking about the Hermitage museum, and particularly the enormous six by eight painting of the prodigal son on display there. It was easy to transition from that into faith. Igor told me he was Jewish, but that his faith had not been a central part of his life. Twenty-three years ago on his honeymoon, during a four-day train ride he had shared a car with an Orthodox priest, and had been intrigued and challenged by their long conversations. “This feels like that time,” he said, “only I see it much clearer now, the way you put things.”

It was as though time stood still, God melding our hearts together in a seamless stream of theological and cultural facts and anecdotes. At one point he asked me with a serious scowl, “why do Jewish people convert to Christianity?” I remember praying, O God how much better could you lead this discussion? The next hour was filled with animated gestures, sullied brow, anger and smiles of revelation. It felt like a chess match, and my Russian counterpart seemed to be always two or three steps ahead in trying to piece together this amazing story about Jesus. I had the chance to tell it in detail, from the cradle to the cross, and watched as God opened his mind and heart to the possibility that it all could be true. God forged a friendship in those hours, and as traffic at JFK backed up, and the flight was delayed on entry, I silently thanked God for the extra time to answer the myriad of questions he still clung to. Pulling up to the gate, we exchanged information, and plan to have dinner this spring when he comes to New York.

Sitting at the Feet of Jesus

Over the past month an image of sitting at Jesus feet has taken hold in my imagination. The madman in Luke found himself there, “dressed and in his right mind.” Mary sat there, content with only Him. Another woman, “who the Scriptures say, “lived a sinful life,” poured perfume on Him there, and wept in great broken sobs of love. Jairus fell down there, and “pleaded earnestly with Him, “My daughter is dying.”

That one got me. Our oldest daughter Audrey, has been ill now for some time. I have felt gnaws of uncertainty as doctors scratch their heads, and prescribe what may cure. Like Jairus, I have fallen in a heap at Jesus feet and cried for her deliverance, both physically, and spiritually. Sometimes the most powerful prayers course down our cheeks.

Do you find yourself today at Jesus feet? Though many of the instances in Scripture include desperation, we don’t have to wait until the bottom falls out before we go there. His invitation comes to us incessantly, fervently—“come!” As easy as it may seem, how difficult it turns out to be, and how subtle the lies that keep us aloof. Oswald Chambers said it best: The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not the answer.” I like that.

Before you close this, take a moment and imagine yourself at His feet. What do you want to tell Him? What questions are still unanswered? Is there something you dread, that consumes your waking nights? Have you given up on anyone? Have you suspended your faith, traded it for something more manageable or secure?

Nothing is off limits at the feet of perfect Love.

Vision

“For lack of vision, the people run wild….”
Ginnette and I joined staff in the summer of 82.’ We were at CSU along with about 40 other fresh legs, and to say we were ‘Gung Ho’ is putting it mildly! Even so, listening to our leadership reiterate the mission refreshed us, and built a solid frame around our own vision.
Since then, I’ve occasionally needed to step back and kick the tires, so to speak. Do I still believe the mission is possible? Am I still as passionate about reaching every student as when I began? Will I still sacrifice as God leads, putting others first and my own needs behind?
Honestly, I can go a long time without knowing my ‘tires’ need attention. But certain symptoms alert me that my vision has blurred, and my faith has atrophied. I’ve forgotten those first heart stopping, mouth gaping God sightings that kept me lean and hungry in the Great Commission.
Here are a few nails I’ve had to pull from the tire over the years.
I think the organization exists for me. The subtle shift from remembering why I’m here and taking personal responsibility, to thinking corporate owes me. It’s a mental, backward step from adult to child, and it keeps me thinking small. The worst part; it can affect younger leaders. Remember, status quo is a transferable concept.
I think security is found in a place, or through ministry partners. The subtle shift from knowing my hope and trust lie in God, to thinking I’m in God’s will because things run smoothly, or my needs are being met. Fear of change is the single greatest detriment to fresh visionary leadership. When that suffers, the movement shifts into neutral.
I think proven methods equal God’s heart for the mission. The subtle shift from knowing that; ‘unless the Father draws them,’ to thinking because I saw fruit before, I will do this again, and again, and again. I need to ask myself; is my strategy based on history, or the leading of the Holy Spirit?
I think ministry gives life to my spirit. The subtle shift from knowing that love fuels my devotional life, to thinking that my call and duty in ministry will reward my spirit with energy and purpose. If I cater to this usurper, I will eventually find myself in a time capsule, unable or unwilling to move forward through fresh revelation.
At the start of the new decade, ask yourself: Do I remember the mission? Do I believe the mission is possible? Do I remember why I joined the mission, and what I meant to do?

Effectual Prayer

In the days following Pentecost the story of Jesus Christ crucified and risen fueled a revolution of love. Never a man loved the way Jesus did. Never men loved Him so greatly for it.

How does God rouse this kind of devotion in creatures prone to want rather than give, and to horde rather than sacrifice? The answer is found in the mystery of prayer. A man or woman who effectually prays (James 5) becomes a person capable of great love. Here’s how.

First, through prayer self dissolves…Oswald chambers described it as, “so absolutely humanly His, that we are utterly unnoticeable.” Prayer weakens the hold on our stubborn rights, which refuse to bend under God’s leadership. In that kiln the ties that bind us to personal needs are consumed, freeing us to be willing intercessors.

Second, through prayer we identify with others… The act of pleading on someone else’s behalf takes sacrifice. When we spend our intercessional capital on someone else, we reflect Christ, who ever lives to intercede for us. He loves when we ruthlessly identify in prayer with those in need. Just as the cross defines sacrificial love, to take the place of another defines effectual prayer.

Third, through prayer our faith is strengthened. The time we spend waiting in God’s presence elevates a hallowed image of God. The long obedience of that wait harrows the heart-the place where faith is refined and approved. The silver smith knows the alloy is pure when he sees his clear reflection. In our love embrace (prayer) others will see a clearer image of God, because matured faith marvels over the love shared in the godhead,(John 17) and offers it to others.

Finally, through prayer we learn the cost of love. When fear, rejection or uncertainty stare us down, prayer moves us beyond the shawls of convenience, and into deep waters of desperation. When this becomes an unconscious act of worship, we begin to taste something of Christ’s suffering, a willing ministry which transcends our comforts, self interests and passions.

Henry Nouwen once said, “Prayer is not a pious exercise, but the breath of human existence.” To the extent we cultivate a heart to pray, God does and will distill our devotion to what I call the irreducible core—the residue of love left from engaging veiled mystery. We are never closer to Christ than when we are locked in prayer.

The Voice

My feet take me across the counties of New York City, and everywhere they step I seek a Voice to give reason for the chaos, insight to confusion, concrete steps to despair, and kind words for disbelief. The Voice discovered can be the voice to explain. The faces of all I pass search my eyes for a hint, a shard of light to bring hope where darkness has strangled, suffocated, reduced a life to a rote unanswered question leading to apathy, and worse—a tenuous détente that knows not light or darkness, only gray shadows. The Voice leads me away from myself, and towards the pain inherent in place sharing. The Voice moves my steps to places that time has stopped, hearts pierced against inevitable abandonment, ready to break; the Voice sends me there in time to infuse that grain of ash, that reminder of my surrender, the fire that had consumed my claim on time and living, but now wholly given to Him who assures me I am known.
My greatest pursuit is the voice. Only the Voice can bring clarity to the blur, lift to the droop, a smile for sadness, or knowing to perplexity. In every moment of every day I can seek the voice, and so know my place, and feel His assurance. Where the Voice is, that’s where I belong, if not there, then I must turn to the sound by faith. Children always see the face of their Father (Matt 18); therefore humility, child like trust, and a dogged tenacity, ignite through a will that strives to hear it, and obey it when it calls me out of lethargy and into ambiguity. This week a young woman said these words, “I don’t want to wake up when I’m forty years old and realize that I had done nothing to make a difference in this world.” When we walk with God straining by faith to hear the voice, we can rest from striving and anxious longing, and know that if at our post long enough, and faith filled, we will hear unmistakable utterances from the other side. We stand in the cleft, and by us God races to His appointed hour, but never leaves us behind. Instead, He stops long enough to speak, and wills our will to follow. That moment we are suspended between fear and belief tests the metal of our moral courage, and shows us once again that it’s Him from first to last. We do not obey the Voice without His Spirit’s counsel and power.

Studebaker's can teach us....

“Build yourselves up in your most holy faith.” Jude 20

Growing up there was an old Studebaker in the forest behind our house. It hadn’t moved in two decades. The tires had sunk into the dirt, windows smashed; and the hood stuck straight up, as though the doctor were asking it ‘open real wide.’ My friends and I hatched a plan one day to get her back on the road. We set to work, but it wasn’t long before our naïve zeal, turned to boredom. That old relic needed something more than a screwdriver, hacksaw and greasy grins.

In the start up of a year, the business of reconnecting, planning, and engaging in a myriad of relationships can take its toll. If it’s been a while since you paused long and hard to listen, or simply were ‘wowed’ by something God revealed to you, then in some ways you may have parked your pursuit of God in the deep woods. The right tools can make a difference. Jude 20 gives us something to “build yourselves up,” or if you prefer—to re-fire the cylinders.

“Pray in the Holy Spirit”—True prayer originates in the heart of God, and is borne by the Spirit into our spirit. He, the Holy Spirit “helps” our weakness when we don’t know how to pray. To pray reminds us that a fresh surrender to God’s will is a daily need for those on the front lines.

“Keep in the love of God”—All other loves require something from us to keep our end of the bargain. God’s love eliminates the need to work to keep, compare to feel good, or perform to please. Prayer reminds us that perfect love sits between our desire for Him, and His willingness to lavish upon us more than we could ever hope for.

“Wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ”—Hope springs eternal in the day to day, for those willing to sit at Jesus feet. Prayer reminds us that when everything else pales, we still hold on, for to pray with hope raises our chin to see eyes of mercy.

Make prayer a habit, until it becomes a passion. It’s more important than any discipline, because it’s the best tool to carry into the woods to get our ‘Studebaker’ back on the road.

Bending Birches

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…    Eph 3:20

            It’s no secret that God uses Bible study and prayer to build intimacy between us. But something more is at play while we pore over the word, or carve out time to pray.  He’s planting moral courage,  and planning a funeral for our fear.

            As kids romping through the woods of northern New Jersey, my brother JoJo and I would occasionally come across a stand of white birch. We could never resist the urge to shimmy up their slender, branchless trunks. When we got to the point where we felt the tree bend against our weight, we would stretch one more length, grasp the trunk with both hands, take a deep breath and throw our legs out into nothingness. The tree would bend with elastic grace all the way to the ground! 

            Bending birches has a lot to teach us about the way God grows our heart. Let’s use the shimmying as our devotional life.  It’s hard work, routine—repeatable. We feel like we make progress, but then slip again. But we know we’re barking up the right tree! To open our Bibles is an act of faith, and to pray requires our eyes to focus on the unseen.  As we grip these devotions day to day, without knowing it, we inch upward, we build faith; until the moment God decides we’re ready. That’s when we feel the tree begin to bend. 

            If often starts with a flutter in the belly, as God reveals His will. ‘You want me to do what?’ Other times we may feel agitated, or be admonished, or even suffer disappointment. God wants to break into our contented equilibrium, because He knows our deepest desire is to come face to face with Him. That requires all the focus and faith we can muster. We grow when we trust Him to land us on our feet, even though our hearts are racing, and our mouth is dry. Bible study and prayer prepare us for that critical moment God asks us to jump. These are the times where faith deepens and our view of God expands.  The organ music plays, and God lays our fear to rest.

                         Are you feeling the bend of the birch today?  Hold fast to Him, He is able to do immeasurably more!

            To fear God is to fear nothing but God.